Issue link: https://publications.tfs.ca/i/1421996
Parents' Handbook 2021– 2022 39 If, at any point, improvement of behaviour is deemed insufficient, other measures, i.e., a request to the parent(s)/legal guardian(s) for outside counselling, will be implemented by TFS. How does a parent/a legal guardian know if their child is a target of bullying? Your child may tell you that inappropriate behaviour including bullying is occurring. Try to determine if you are dealing with either an issue of bullying or with an isolated incident of aggressive and/or confrontational behaviour. Both situations need to be addressed, but in different ways. In either case, please make sure that a member of the leadership team is made aware of any serious incident right away. Often students worry that reporting bullying can make the situation worse. Victims of bullying may feel ashamed and afraid to come forward, even to their parents/legal guardians. Students who are bullied may refuse to go to school, may be overly emotional, and/or fall sick on school days. They may suddenly begin to "lose" personal items, come home with broken possessions, and/ or offer illogical explanations for being late or absent from classes. How can a parent/legal guardian support their child after having been bullied? TFS is a partner at all stages of the process with the student and parents/guardians in supporting the student in the development of appropriate behaviour. Taking action reduces the feelings of helplessness and builds strength in the individual who has been the target of bullying. - Listen to your child and explain that they are not to be blamed for the incident and another student's behaviour. - Clarify the facts as much as possible and record comments and observations about the events that have been described. - Reassure your child that there is a difference between "tattling" or "snitching" and "reporting an incident"; that is, reporting is not done to cause trouble to another student, but rather to protect all students. - Schedule an appointment to discuss your child's feelings and behaviour with a member of TFS' staff. It is important to support the student in regaining self-confidence. - Discuss the TFS Code of Conduct with your child, explaining that it was designed to guide students to adopt socially appropriate behaviours, to help them identify inappropriate behaviours, and to protect them against these behaviours. - Refer to the values expressed in the TFS Code of Conduct as often as needed at home to help your child sort out difficulties without resorting to violence, intimidation or aggressive behaviour. - Working with the school, support your child as much as you can to help them regain self-confidence. - If bullying continues after the school has intervened, contact a member of TFS' leadership team immediately. How can a parent/legal guardian support behavioural change in the student-bully? Please discuss TFS' Code of Conduct with your child, explaining that it was designed to guide students to adopt socially appropriate behaviours, and to help them identify inappropriate behaviours and prevent them from continuing. The aim is to help the student refrain from resorting to violence, intimidation or aggressive behaviour. If you see signs that your child has a tendency to bully others, either at home or in other situations (camps, clubs, etc.), seek help from the school and/ or a professional to determine what strategies can be used at home, alongside the supports and learning opportunities offered at school or elsewhere.